Where I Belong
by BigSister2
Summary: Trowa wants a chance with Quatre, but everytime he tries to get close, Quatre closes up. What is Quatre's excuse for hiding from Trowa? TrowaxQuatre.


Yes I know I have two other fics calling my name, but this just popped into my head and wouldn't leave. Please Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't Gundam Wing or its characters.

Pairings: Main 3+4, Very Light 1+R & 5+S

Trowa's Pov

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Well here I am once again admiring the person that has taken over my heart without knowing it. I am currently at Quatre's estate who is hosting a party for those he considers friends and comrades during the war. I should say it was more like Duo coercing Quatre into having this celebration. We've talked about a get together before, but we each have our jobs and whatnot so its hard for us all to see each other at once, but here we are.

There's Heero who actually managed to bring Relena with him, by stating there was no way for him to protect her if he was away so he dragged her along. There're a cute couple though and they seem to both be enjoying themselves.

Wufei's here also with his girlfriend Sally. They may argue over who's smarter and stronger at times but they compliment each other well despite the fact that Sally is older.

Next there's Duo who hasn't stopped dancing since he got here. He's the most excited of us all to be here it would seem. I'm not exactly sure why, but I have to admit I am enjoying myself also. Duo has managed to get everybody to dance except me. Its not that I wouldn't want to dance, it's just there's only one person I would attempt to dance with and that's the object of my affection…Quatre, who is currently following Duo's lead in trying to execute the 'two-step.' It seems Quatre's a lot less coordinated than Duo at dancing, but he's trying nonetheless.

Right now he's pouting at Duo who told him he did the steps wrong again. Quatre attempts it another time and Duo ruffles his hair in approval while Quatre smiles in response.

Quatre looks so carefree, so happy, so energetic, so…unlike when he's with me. Well let me rephrase that he's still the same, but he seems withdrawn and nervous when it's just me and him. He's still friendly, polite, and compassionate, but I can tell he's hiding something.

At first I thought he might have found out how I feel about him and he didn't want to hurt my feeling by telling me I was disgusting and that two guys together was wrong. But I threw that idea out when Duo questioned Quatre and I how we felt about homosexuality. I simply shrugged; of course I didn't care, the one I wanted to be with was less than two feet from me.

_Quatre shook his head and answered. "It doesn't matter to me Duo. If two people love each other I don't see how it can be wrong, even if they are the same gender, right Trowa?" Quatre looked at me expectantly and I felt compelled to give more than a nod of my head. _

"_Quatre's right, Duo. It doesn't matter as long as you are happy." Quatre seemed pleased with my answer and gave me a genuine smile._

That was a couple of months ago so my next conclusion was that I had done something unconsciously to hurt our friendship. I questioned him on the phone one day if the reason he didn't call me at all was because I had did something wrong, but he quickly assured me that was not the case and promised to call me more often. Which has yet to happen. I do understand though he is busy with his company and all, but I just want to see more of him than I do on the specials that feature on TV about him.

I see Duo suddenly turn to me and wave me over towards himself and Quatre. I shake my head as I was perfectly comfortable leaning against the wall watching them dance, but he then bounces over to me and drags me over to the middle of the makeshift dance floor. He tells me I have to dance and I give a simple, "No." Duo crosses his arms, and starts to tap his foot, refusing to take no for an answer.

"I can't dance." I admit. I have never attempted to dance in my life and even though the only people in the room are people I trust with my life, I was still not willing to show off my skills...or lack there of.

"Come on please Trowa, it'll be fun?" I shake my head and take a step to go back to my wall when I hear Quatre's soft voice.

"Please Trowa, just for a little bit." I feel my resolve crumbling like a cookie in milk.

"….I told you I don't know how."

"That's okay Quatre pretty much sucks at dancing too, but he's trying." Duo states cheerfully.

It seems Quatre takes offense to that and he turns and pouts. "I don't suck I did the 'two step' didn't I."

Duo shrugs. "Yeah, buddy but face it you have no rhythm."

I decide to step in. "Hey Quatre I know I'm worst than you, so how about we try together." He turns and looks at me and I wonder if I've said something wrong, but then he smiles at me.

"Yeah, that sounds fun."

It was actually two and a half hours later of dancing/falling, eating store bought cookies, drinking caffeine beverages, and laughing at jokes that didn't mean anything when we finally decide to settle down for the night. Heero and Relena left while everyone else decided to stay the night. I've been lying in bed for about 30 minutes, but I think all the sugar and caffeine is still flowing through my system and that's why I can't sleep. I decide to get up and travel to the kitchen. Maybe some warm milk will calm me down.

As I creep quietly to the kitchen I see the light already on, but there is nobody there. I look around slightly and I see a discarded mug with tea in it. Quatre. I leave the kitchen and I walk towards the main room and I see the balcony door slightly ajar. As I grew closer I can see Quatre's form leaning forward against the balcony railing.

"Quatre." I call lightly to let him know that I'm coming. He turns his head and nods at me slightly. "Is it okay if I join you?" I ask. He nods again and I lean with my back against the balcony railing next to him. "Couldn't sleep?"

He sighs "No, I guess I have too much on my mind."

I nod. I know what that feels like. "Want to talk about it?"

He shakes his head. "No, I'm fine."

"You're lying Quatre." He seems startled by my simply statement, but quickly fixes his composure.

"I told you its fine Trowa." By now I'm mad. Every time I try to get Quatre to open up to me, he stays clammed up like a shell. But a couple of hours ago he was joking around laughing with me. I don't understand him, but it's about time I figure it out. I push off the balcony and speak.

"Why do you insist on keeping me away Quatre? If you didn't want me here in the first place, why did you invite me?"

He shakes his head at me again. "You're thinking too much Trowa. There's nothing going on. "

I grab his arm and turn him so he's facing me. Though the only light shining on us is from the moon I can still see his form clearly. His baby blonde hair, thin lips, and those bright, blue, expressive eyes that are at this moment displaying sadness.

"Then if everything is fine tell me why every time I want to get close to you, you become withdrawn? I care about you Quatre…a lot. You mean so much to me and I hate to see you like this. You're sad and tired of being alone and I can understand that. That's why I came here today, to tell you how much you mean to me and that I want the old Quatre back. The Quatre I met that hopped out of his gundam and surrended to me with a smile without knowing who I was and offered me a place to rest. The Quatre I met that would give me a kind smile every time I was near. The Quatre that I know and love…" I know I spoke more words at once then I every do, but I had to get through to Quatre. He seems stunned, but at my length of talking or choice of words I do not know.

He snatchtes his arm away from me and speaks harshly. "Why do you care?" I am shocked at his tone and the glare on his face, but I push forward.

"Because I care about you Quatre. You have a special place in my heart and I want to be with you." There I said it. I said what I've been wanting to tell him for so long.

He backs up until he hits the balcony wall and speaks in a much softer, defeated voice. "You deserve better Trowa." Okay wasn't expected that answer. If anyway deserved better it was him. He had so much going for him, influence, power, looks, charm, and money. And I….I am just some circus boy who doesn't even have a real name.

"Why would you say something like that Quatre?"

He shakes his head furiously and wraps his arms around his body. "How can you say that you want to be with someone like me after all I've done to you?"

I'm thoroughly confused now. I rack my brain but I can't come up with anything that Quatre did to me recently. I step forward until I'm an inch from him. "What are you talking about?"

He raises his voice again. "Don't play stupid with me Trowa! I attacked you in space and I almost killed you. You meant so much to me and if it wasn't for Heero I would…I would have….and…" Tears start streaming down his face and he slides down the wall, arms still wrapped around his body.

So that's what this was about. A guilt trip. I kneel down in front of Quatre and place my hands on either side of his face. "Why wouldn't I care Quatre? I know it may not seem like it but I've grown to care for you, so much that it hurts when I'm away from you and I all I want is for you to be happy Quatre. You deserve it, we both do."

He looks at me tears still gathering in his eyes and I wipe away the tracks that are on his face. "I'm not quite sure what love is Quatre, but every time I'm near you I feel like that's were I belong. I want to be with you when you're sad, angry, happy, embarrassed, surprised, scared, whatever, whenever I want to be there for you."

Quatre casts his eyes downwards "But Trowa, what I did was unforgivable and-"

I put my fingers over his lips. "I don't care about that Quatre. That was in the past. I told you then to forget about it and I'm telling you the same now. I forgive you Quatre, you weren't yourself. You were emotionally distressed and it was an accident."

He shakes his head, pulling my fingers away. "But that doesn't justify my actions Trowa. I still hurt you."

"It wasn't just your fault Quatre, it was mine also. I could have defended myself and I didn't." Its the truth and to this day I don't regret it. If putting my body through a near death experience, meant bringing Quatre back to his senses than I would gladly do it again.

A light dawns in his eyes, but I can still tell he is unsure. I stand up slowly and extend my hand to him. "I think this could work between us Quatre. All I want is a chance." I swallow hard. "But if you don't want to that's fine. I'll leave and you'll never have to see me again." I start to withdraw my hand a gentle tug stops me.

"Please Trowa, I don't want you to go." My heart lightens at the statement. He suddenly stands up and grabs onto my shirt. "Please don't go."

I wrap my arms around him and it feels so right. I lay my head on top of his. "I won't leave you Quatre as long as you want me here, I'll stay." I feel him nod and I wrap my arms around him tighter. I feel a sharp gust of cool wind and Quatre shivers in my arms.

I pull back slightly. "Let's go inside, okay?" Quatre nods and I grab his hand in mine and lead him inside. I let go of his hand briefly to close and lock the balcony door. I turn back to him and he looks at me shyly.

"Thank you Trowa."

I close the gap between us and pull him closer to me. "No, thank you Quatre, you've made my wish come true." I lean down slowly towards him giving time for him to pull away, but he doesn't and our lips collide. Its brief, but I see a glimpse of heaven in the small contact. I start to pull back, but his lips attach to mine again and I instinctively pull him closer to me until we are one. We pull back, both out of breath, but content. He smiles at me and I see the happiness in his eyes despite the dimly lit room we are in. Now I'm positive this is where I'm needed. This is where I belong.

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Alright that's it. So if you have the time please review and tell me what you think. I usually don't write first person so comments and suggestions to improve are always welcome. Thanks.


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